There is nothing quite like brushing your teeth after a crazy
Thanksgiving dinner! Last night we hosted a Thanksgiving dinner at the Iverson's home for 50 people on the team here. It was so much fun! Carol and us interns started prepping the food, dining room, and living room on Friday evening, and worked all day on Saturday to have everything ready by 5:30 that night. It was a lot of work, but we were all so joyful about all we had to do, that it made the work a lot of fun! It was great working together in the kitchen, laughing, singing, dancing, and goofing around. It made the time fly to be working with such fun people. Everyone arrived at 5:30, and at 6, us interns and Carol started serving soup and salad to everyone. (I love serving people at dinner events! Especially friends.) A while later, the turkey was carved and we were able to join everyone and eat. The food was absolutely amazing! We got three turkeys from Costco and a ham! I'm not a huge fan... or even slightly inclined to enjoy turkey, so I was extremely excited to have ham on the menu. Of course there were gobs of mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE!!!! All the usual Thanksgiving things. While 50 people on the team were over for dinner, only about half of them were American! There were Australians, Koreans, Japanese, and a visitor from India all at the table! (I must say, it was pretty funny seeing them all saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" to each other. One of my new Australian friends, who was enjoying his first ever Thanksgiving meal, said later that it was like an "eating marathon!") At the end of the night, after everyone had gone home, every room was cleaned, all the leftovers had containers, and every single one of the gajillions of dishes we had were washed, my friend Emily and I collapsed on the floor in the living room and released the familiar post-Thanksgiving-dinner moan of full stomachs. As we were lying there, I commented about how I felt like we had a glimpse of what God must have felt like after he created the universe and saw that "it was good." Thinking about all the work that had gone into making that evening happen, how much people seemed to have enjoyed themselves, and all of the after-party cleanup, one couldn't help but sit there afterward and look at everything and think that it was good. As I was looking around the room at dinner last night, I realized how blessed I am to know all of those wonderful people! For that evening, my big thing that I was thankful for was the fact that God called me back to Japan so soon after
returning to America. I am so blessed that I get to work with these
team members, that I get to teach such amazing students and see them all week, that I get to live with this wonderfully godly family
again, that I get to live in this country, and that I am learning so much
about the Lord through the people and circumstances around me. I am
beyond amazed at His plans for me!
I am also incredibly thankful for my family, for loving and supporting me so much and
letting me return to this country I love so dearly! Without their support, I think it would have been unbearably difficult for me to be here. And while they joke all the time about bribing me to stay in America, I know that they love me and will always support me 100%, even if I'm living on the other side of the world. I am one blessed girl! Another thing I'm thankful for is friends who are patient enough to skype with me, even when skype crashes all the time! I've been able to have long conversations with friends back home recently, and I'm always so encouraged by these people God has put in my life. I'm thankful for the lessons God teaches me about cherishing the people in my life, and to love everyone, just as He first loved us.
SKYPING WITH SARAH, EMILY, AND HANNAH
Thank you to everyone who reads this updates, to those who support me financially and especially in prayer! You are all instruments God has used in my life in some way or another, and I am so grateful for your friendship! Love, Melanie "Rejoice always,pray without ceasing,give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM
50 PEOPLE GATHERED IN OUR DINING ROOM & LIVING ROOM
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Recently a lot of people here have been asking me how this time in
Japan compares to my last time here. Well, this time is very
different from the last. In good ways? In bad ways? Definitely good.
Very good. Now, my previous time here wasn't bad, but since
I've returned I've realized just how different I was last time I was
here and how much I've grown since then.
Since being back, I've heard from quite a few people about how
much I've matured since I left Japan. I was kind of shocked the first
time I heard this, because I had only been in America a little over a
year before I came back here. How much could I have changed in a
year? Thinking back on the past year, I've realized how much God was
teaching me in America through my anger, bitterness, and lack of
contentment. (I wrote about this in my first update being back here
in Japan.)
Last time I was here, I was just out of high school
and experiencing life away from everything I knew for the first time.
I was very immature. I had a hard time with my relationships with the
other interns a lot of the time, and that made things very difficult
for me. This time, I have been so blessed with fellow interns whom I
feel so close to already, and am able to get along with so
unbelievably well!
I must admit, when I first found out I would be living with so
many girls, I was not thrilled. I'm so used to living with guys
because of having four brothers, so I was really worried about having
to work and live with these girls. Plus my experiences from last time
made me very skeptical that we would all be able to get along. But
despite my doubting spirit, God decided to bless me with wonderful
housemates/coworkers/sisters in Christ that I get to spend everyday
with! With these girls, I get to grow closer to the Lord and learn
more about Him and His love for me. Our Bible study together is so
rich. I am so thankful to be surrounded by such godly women who have
been blessed with wisdom in different ways and who encourage and
inspire me so much.
Along with the great relationships I have
with the interns, another reason this time seems so much better is
because of how easy it was to get back into the routine of things at
CCSI. Lesson planning was so familiar that is was a breeze when I got here, and I already
knew all of the students, so I didn't have that awkward first couple
months of transitioning and getting to know everyone. I love my job.
Why wouldn't I when I get to teach such wonderful students and when I
get to work with my best friends and family in Christ?
Last
time, I spent most of my time sightseeing and doing touristy things
with the other interns. This time I am so happy to be building up
relationships with the students and people at church. I've been
helping with a lot of church, school, and team events, which I absolutely
love doing! Last Sunday I was a judge for a fashion show for the
kids of the church I attend here, and all of them were dressed up as
Bible characters. This past Friday I was able to observe a children's English class I will be helping take over for a couple of weeks after the current teacher leaves Japan. This weekend I will be helping with a face-painting
booth for a kids' festival. The weekend after that, we will be having
our school's Living Nativity and coffee house. There is so much work
to be done for that!
One other thing that gives me so
much joy this time around is being able to understand a good deal of
Japanese. It's so exciting to learn new things everyday and to
communicate with the people here. Now, I'm not very good at speaking
Japanese. I have the mindset that I need to say something perfectly
or not say anything at all. So, I don't speak in Japanese very much.
I'm trying to do better, though! The best way to learn is to try,
succeed or fail, and learn from my mistakes.
I'm trying to
keep this “short” because of my knack for writing novels every
time I do an update. These are just some things I've been thinking
about recently. With Thanksgiving coming up this week, I've been
thinking about how thankful I am for the chance I have to be back in
this country - to work with the people I do, to make so many new
friends and build on old friendships, to practice Japanese everyday,
and to learn more about this culture and the people who live here. I
am thankful for His blessings, which come in such abundance!
There
is so much God has taught me recently, and I am so eager to write about it. But I'm going to save writing
about it for another time, because that will definitely be long one!
Adding to my list of things I am thankful for,
I want to let you know how thankful I am for you. Words cannot
express how overjoyed I am to be surrounded by such a wonderful
friends and family! Though distance separates
us, your love and prayers are heard, felt, and answered across the
land and sea, touching my heart and comforting me in all I do for and
because of Him.
God bless you!
Melanie
“Oh,
how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who
fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of
the children of mankind!” - Psalm 31:19
"Waaaaait a second... Melanie is posting two and a half weeks after her last update? WHO IS THIS IMPOSTOR?!" I know, I'm surprised too! :O
Well, when we left off, I seemed to be coming down with a bit of a cough. The day after I posted that blog, I woke up with no voice at all. I ended up not having a voice for about a week. It was incredibly frustrating in the beginning, seeing how my job description requires me to be able to speak. All of my students and the teachers were very patient with me, but I was impatient with myself. I kept trying to speak, and that just made me lose my voice even more. Eventually I came to realize that it was God telling me to shut up and listen. Now, I know I talk a lot, but I never realized how much until I was unable to do so. It was a very humbling week, to say the least. (Especially during our school's sports day, where I had no voice, but had to cheer my team on... we won, by the way... GO RED TEAM!)
"Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance" — Proverbs 1:5
I got to "attend" a wedding over the phone/through Skype a couple of weeks ago, which was a very interesting experience! I'm so glad I got to listen to the ceremony for my friends Megan and Louie. After seeing them and being able to talk to a lot of my other friends at the reception, it made me miss everyone so much. I remembered from last time I was here that the times when I missed home the most was whenever there was an event back home where lots of people from my church were gathered together. But I was thankful for the ability to be a part of the wedding in some way. Technology is truly amazing.
A week and a half ago, our fall break began at school. My host family and my intern sisters and I all went up north to a cabin the Iverson's own in the mountains, right by the Japanese Alps. It was absolutely beautiful. Coming from Virginia, it's been pretty depressing going into fall and not being able to see trees changing colors in this "forest of steel," as one of the other interns put it. It was absolutely amazing leaving the city, going into the mountains, and seeing the beautiful fall colors everywhere.
We basically spent five days in solitude, sitting around reading books and working on puzzles. During that time, I really felt like God was speaking to me and was working in my heart. I read through "A Voice in the Wind" and "An Echo in the Darkness," both by Francine Rivers, while I was in the cabin. Both books made me look at a lot of things in a new perspective and think about things I'd never thought of before, while also hitting me at such a personal level. Those books, combined with the scripture I was reading through at the time, really grabbed me and gave me a sense of peace about a lot of things that had been weighing on my heart for such a long time.
The Iverson's Cabin
To add to all of the things racing through my mind that God was teaching me that week, we came home and had another seminary class that weekend. It's like I was a parched plant in the middle of a desert, and all of the sudden a typhoon came, nourishing me and giving me what I needed, but then there was so much that it just swept me away. God has been blessing me so abundantly with the food that I need, but there's so much of it now that I'm having a hard time swallowing and balancing it all out! It's kind of hilarious. I feel so at peace, but at the same time I'm trying to understand everything I'm learning. It's hard to do that though, because there are so many things that I'm learning and it's making it hard to focus on one thing and figure out what He's telling me about that, and then move on to the next lesson.
While we were in the mountains, we listened to a sermon by Tim Keller about our heavenly Father. He talked about how we're never satisfied with our "home" here on earth, how we always seem to be looking for that thing or place that makes us feel at home. Then during our intern girls' Bible study, this topic was brought up again. It's such a good reminder for me that my home is not on this earth, but it is in Heaven, where I will spend an eternity with Him. Hallelujah!
This week I went with some of my friends on a fun little escapade to Tokyo. We went to the Imperial Palace, but apparently you aren't allowed to see it... so... oh well. It was a lot of fun, though! After that, I took everyone to one of my favorite places in Japan - a city called "Tsukishima" that lies in Tokyo prefecture. We all got dinner together and then I took everyone to a place by the river where you can see party boats float by, and Sky Tree in the distance.
Tsukishima
I can't remember if I've said this before in one of my previous blogs, but every Sunday, I try not to plan anything a part from going to church. My reasoning behind this is that every week, without fail, something random happens that ends up taking most of the day. It's always fun going into Sunday without a clue what's going to happen. Sometimes it could be something sad like my host family's dog dying, but most of the time it's something fun and spontaneous. This past Sunday I got to spend time with friends in the afternoon, attended a young adults' worship service in the evening, and went directly from that over to a singing and dance show at Honda Chapel. It was such a fun day, full of God's blessings!
I keep seeing online that people are writing one thing a day that they're thankful for in November, leading up to Thanksgiving. I like this idea a lot, but I just want to say one thing that I am have been so beyond thankful for recently - my intern sisters. I'm so amazed that God has blessed me with such wonderful new friends who I already feel so close to and look forward to spending the entire day with. I wake up excited every morning, because I get to work, learn, and live with my best friends. I am so encouraged by these girls, and I'm thankful for the relationships we have because of our relationship with our common Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
"But he replied to the man who told him, 'Who is my mother, and who are
my brothers?' And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my
Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.'" - Matthew 12:48-50
"So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." - Romans 12:5
Emily, Mary Beth, and Me
In closing, I ask that you would llease be praying for me, that I would seek my Father's wisdom and
guidance about the things He's teaching me, and that I would apply them
to my life in a manner pleasing to Him. At this moment, I'm sitting in
an apartment in Tsukishima (same place in the pictures above of the
party boat,) and I have a lot of time to myself. I'm looking forward to
the things I may learn while I'm here, and I pray that I would grow in
this time alone. Because there is always something to do with the team
here, it's basically impossible to be alone. I pray I would see this
time as a gift that God has given me to better understand Him and my
purpose here in this country. Also, please be praying as we start back at school tomorrow. I'm very excited to get back to seeing the students throughout the week again! I've missed them a lot. Pray for us as we all adjust back into school life.
"Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!" - Psalm 37:4-7
THIS IS BOB-SCOTT, BY THE WAY! My 7th grade class' plant.
It
doesn’t come as a surprise to me that I haven’t written a blog in ages. I’m
still disappointed in myself, though! Why
does this always happen?! No matter how strongly I want to write a blog post,
something always interferes!
I
suppose that’s a good place to begin this post: ever since I arrived here in
Japan, I hit the ground running full-speed! Thankfully, I didn’t have any
jetlag, just like my previous time here. I am so thankful for the fact that I
didn’t have jetlag, because there was so much that needed to be done and not
enough time to do it!
The
week before school started, I spent a lot of my time at the school moving
furniture. Because there were so many missionaries arriving and leaving, we
kept a lot of furniture in the attic at school, then we would play musical
chairs *ahaaaaa pun…* by moving furniture from one person’s house to the
school, then from the school to another person’s house, and on and on. It was
one thing that we were lifting ridiculously heavy pieces of furniture, but add
to that the unbearable heat and humidity, (especially on the third floor at
school, which was basically a furnace,) and it was just such an exhausting
task! Thankfully we were able to empty out the classrooms of the unneeded
furniture, though!
The
week before school started, the teachers and I went out to lunch. It was a lot
of fun being able to spend time and catch up with these people I hadn’t seen in
so long!
A
few days after I arrived here, I began battling a very bad cough and a fever.
Carol took me to a drugstore, and explained my symptoms to the nice man behind
the counter. He found us a box of medicine, and assured us that it was, in
fact, the “most popular cough medicine right now.” So don’t worry everyone – I’m
only taking the popular drugs!
The
first week of school, Carol and I were the only teachers in the English track
at school. (It was a lot of work, but thankfully God provided another intern
who arrived the following week!) It was nice getting back into the familiar
routine of things at school. I am teaching English to the Japanese students in
1st-5th grade, tutoring one 6th grade Japanese
girl in English, and I am teaching elementary art, but I am mostly focused on
teaching the 7th graders in the E-track.
Teaching
English to the Japanese kids this time around is so much easier! Last time I
taught them, I didn’t know Japanese at all, so it was quite a challenge. This
time, I know a lot more Japanese, and it is so useful in that class! (The looks
on the students’ faces when they realized I understood what they were saying were
absolutely hilarious!) This class is definitely not completely easy, though. It’s
taken a lot of work to figure out where each of the students is linguistically,
and now I’m at the point where I’m trying to assign the right kinds of material
to match their abilities. It’s a challenge, but so far God has given me the
strength and provision I need to make class happen every week, and I have full
confidence that He will continue to provide!
I love tutoring this one girl, Annemie,
in English! We became very good friends last time I was here, so I’m happy that
I get to teach her again!
Annemie and me
Elementary
art has been a struggle for me. It’s a bilingual class, so all of the elementary kids are in this class. It’s hard
communicating with them sometimes, and it requires a lot of (a LOT of) patience.
Someone has graciously decided to take over that class for me, so I am
incredibly thankful!!
I
absolutely love teaching the 7th grade class! This is definitely my
favorite class! I have five students in this class: two Japanese boys, two
Korean girls, and one Filipino girl. It is so much fun teaching these kids! I
laugh so much everyday thanks to them! Every time I have to read something
aloud out of a book, they ask me to read it in an accent. (So far their
favorites are the Chinese accent and the Valley Girl.) We have a plant. I told
them to name him, and two of the students shouted names at the same time:
"Bob!" "Scott!" So, its name is Bob Scott. They love that
plant so much, it's great! We're all so protective of it. This past Friday we
had a pretty big earthquake during class, and as we were all getting under our
desks, one of the students screamed, “BOB-SCOTT! GET UNDER THE DESK!!!” So, I
rolled out from under my desk, leaped across the room, grabbed Bob-Scott, and
dove back under my desk. Then there's Perry, the rubber Dingo Dog one of the
younger students at school gave me. Perry didn't make it very long. He lasted
about two weeks, then Perry "died." (AKA, one of the students took a
red sharpie and drew all over Perry as "blood.") So, we buried Perry
in Bob Scott's soil. Every day we mourn over the loss of Perry. The other day I
gave the kids a homework assignment: I told them they had to find things to pin
to this empty cork board we have at the back of the classroom. I was getting
sick of looking at it because it looked so boring. So I told them to get things
to pin to it. So far, we have a picture of a ghost, a drawn wanted poster with
my face on it, a poster of a red panda, a drawing of two guys in a rocket ship,
a picture of dinosaurs terrorizing a city, a drawing of a unicorn, and one of
the kids ran home and came back with a Legos Pirates of the Caribbean poster.
A few weeks ago, I was able to attend my
first Japanese wedding. It was so beautiful! It was a western-style wedding,
but it was all in Japanese. I really enjoyed it.
Some of my students and I at the wedding
Recently,
God has really provided for the needs of CCSI. As of right now, we have a total
of four interns, including myself, working at the school! (They are all living
in the same house as me, as well.) It’s been so interesting adjusting from it
just being me in this house with my host family, to having three new “siblings.”
It’s definitely an adventure!
We’ve
started a weekly girl interns’ Bible study, which I am so thankful to be doing
again. It is led by Carol Iverson, and we are currently reading through the “Prodigal
God.” Last time I was here, we read this, and apparently the interns that came
the year after me did it too, but didn’t finish. One of those interns, Mary
Beth, is back again for this school year, so we decided to just pick up where
she and Carol had left off. So, every week we all meet at Starbucks, read our
book, and enjoy fellowshipping and growing together.
Through
some strange series of events, Mary Beth and I are now taking a seminary class
together. We were asked if we wanted to start taking this course, but it was
very expensive, so I didn’t think I would be able to. But God provided the
funds for us to be able to take it, so here we are! It is being streamed to the
school we work at from Christ Bible Institute in Nagoya, Japan, and is being
led by a man named “Michael Oh.” We have had two classes so far, and both have
been challenging in a good way. I am very excited that I have the opportunity
to be a part of this class! The course is on “Personal Holiness.”
Last Monday, all of us interns went to a
university festival with some friends of ours. It was at Tokyo Christian
University, so all of the events there were God-themed, which was very cool. (I
mean, it’s not every day that you get to see Power Rangers jumping around with
a guitar and giving thanks to God!) One of my very good friends is attending
this university this semester, so it was fun getting to see her.
This
past Monday, I played the role of “tour guide” and took the new interns to
Tokyo for the day. We went to a place called “Asakusa,” where a very popular
Buddhist temple is (the oldest in Tokyo.) The street leading up to the temple
is lined with little shops and vendors. Thankfully, we went on a Monday, so it
wasn’t as crowded as it would be on the weekend, which I was very grateful for!
(There was still quite a large amount of people there, though.)
While looking
around one of the shops, my friend and I were both buying t-shirts. The man
running the shop came up to us and tried to help us find the right size shirts.
When we both decided on the shirts we wanted to buy, he said, “Wait one moment!
I go wrap it beautifully for you!” in the cutest broken English. It was so
funny!
As
we got closer to the temple, I started to get very sad. As we approached the
steps to the temple, I looked around and saw people gathered around what looked
like a fire pit where incense was being burned. The people were trying to fan
the incense smoke onto their bodies. They believe that the smoke has healing
powers. Near the incense was a fountain with ladles resting against it. It is
believe that you must purify yourself before entering the temple, so people
poured water from the ladles to clean their hands. They also poured water into
their cupped hands and put the water in their mouths, rinsed, and spit to “rid
them of impurities.”
We
entered the temple, and people were gathered around what I thought at first was
a giant fan. They would bow, toss a coin in, clap their hands, and then say a
prayer. As I was watching all of this, the monks inside were performing some
ceremony, and then began to play ominous sounding drums. It was so eerie. (I
was reminded of an Indiana Jones movie.) I went outside and started praying so
fervently for the people inside. In America, I never really saw much of other
religious practices outside of the Christian faith. Sure, there are so many
different kinds of churches in America, but I had never visited a place like a
temple and seen people worshiping false gods like this. Every ounce of my being
wanted to run through the temple screaming, “STOP! Jesus loves you!” It was
painful to watch. While everyone was throwing money into the fan thing and praying, I started thinking about the God I believe in. Instead of me paying Him for my salvation, He sent His Son to pay the price it cost for my sins to be wiped clean - all because He loves me! Instead of me saying, "Okay, I've given you my money, now answer my prayer!" He says, "I paid for you to be clean - ask and it shall be given to you! If you have the faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains! I don't need your money!"
After visiting the temple, we all decided
to walk to Tokyo Sky Tree, which was just recently finished being constructed.
(Last time I was here, they were just starting to build it, so it was cool
getting to see the finished project!) It is the tallest tower in the world, and
the second tallest structure. As we were walking there, we stopped and took a bunch
of goofy pictures. There was one place where we stopped and this Japanese man
came up to us and kept trying to help us get the angle right to make it look
like Emily (one of the interns) was holding Sky Tree. Eventually the man just
took the camera out of my hands and took the picture himself. It was so funny!!
Every time he didn’t take it quite right, he would say, “Ah! Mistake!” and would
try again.
Emily holding Sky Tree
After
Monday, I ended up being extremely exhausted. I haven’t really had a day off in
about two weeks, so I’m very tired. I was going to take the day off on Monday,
but my host dad really wanted someone to lead the interns around Tokyo that
day, so I volunteered when he couldn’t find anyone. I’m paying for it now. I
have a cold and a slight cough. Normally, I wouldn’t be too put off by these
two sicknesses, but I have also lost my voice, which is incredibly frustrating
when you’re a teacher.
Yesterday
was my birthday, and I am very grateful that I wasn’t too sick then. The
teachers and some of my friends “surprised” me that evening by coming over for
dinner. I say “surprised” because one of the teachers was talking about it in
Japanese at school during lunch the day before my birthday, and she forgot that
I speak Japanese now. They all tried to cover it up, but it was really funny!
So they all came over and we had a wonderful time! I felt so incredibly
blessed. I was asked what my favorite thing about the past year was, and I said
that it was definitely coming back to Japan. As my mom said to me, “I'm pretty certain the best birthday present ever happened
when your plane landed in Japan a couple of months ago.” This is the truth. I
am still so shocked and amazed that God led me to return here.
I will stop here, and hopefully I will be
able to find the time to write blogs more frequently so they are not so long! I
apologize! Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. Please pray for
my health, as I seem to be getting sick a lot recently. Please pray that I
would have wisdom and patience with the students and for my relationships with
the other interns – that we would grow in our relationships with Christ and
each other.
In and through Him,
Melanie
Here are a couple of videos I’ve made
since I arrived here. The first is a few random clips I took my first couple of
weeks here, and the second is all about some very interesting food I’ve had the
pleasure of eating! Enjoy!
That's right - I'm home. My first couple of days here felt like I was floating through a dream. Mostly because I've had countless dreams about this place, so it would make sense for it to be a figment of the hopes that once filled my sleep.
When I came home from Japan last year, there was an indescribable hurt, a longing, that filled every part of me. I went through such a dark period for a long time, and I don't think I was ever really clear of it. Things didn't seem right where I was. I kept telling myself that God wanted me to be home for a reason - but why? What reason could He have had for me being home? I wanted to go back. I wanted to go back so badly! It hurt me so deeply. I've never been in a relationship, but I think I can say with certainty that I experienced my first feeling of a broken heart. (I explained this to one of my friends later as a "geographical breakup.") I had countless dreams of me going back. I woke up sad each time. I was bitter and angry. No one understood what I was going through. How could they? Especially after all that had happened while I was gone. No one had experienced an earthquake like that! No one knew! But that was because I didn't tell anyone. I didn't open up. I locked myself up inside, putting barriers all around. I was full of anger, bitterness, and hurt, yes - but also pride. I didn't want anyone to know. I assumed all they would try to do would be to sympathize with me, so why bother? I didn't want sympathy! After months upon months of these feelings, there came a time where I mentioned something to a large group of people about Japan. Someone made a remark about the earthquake, and I suddenly found myself pouring out my heart about the whole experience. I felt a giant weight lifting off of me as I talked. Afterwards, a few of my friends approached me individually and told me how meaningful it was for them to hear that and how much it impacted them. I stopped in my tracks and realized how self-absorbed I had been prior to that day. I kept thinking of how it would affect me to tell people these things - how it would make me feel. I never once stopped to think of how it would affect others because of the experience God put me through. It's all for HIM! His name be praised! "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9
A little while later, God landed an absolutely incredible passage of scripture in my lap.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of
compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our
troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort
we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the
sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we
are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are
comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient
endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is
firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also
you share in our comfort." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 There were two occasions where I sent this passage to friends who were hurting, and when I did, it affected me so powerfully. God put me through the pain of leaving the land I loved so I could comfort others later on who would experience similar hurts. God shares in my sufferings. He shares in my comforts. This summer, I really feel like I grew so much closer to a lot of my friends - many of whom I had grown up with my whole life. In the past few months I feel like I really came to know them better than I had in the past 5, 10, 15+ years. I think it was because my being gone from them for six months made me appreciate so many things about them that I never stopped to take the time to notice before. I have such amazing, beautiful, wonderful friends. They are such blessings to me. And that worried me. As the time drew closer for me to return to Japan, I became sad. I felt like I had just gotten to know everyone so incredibly well, and then I was leaving. I didn't want to leave them behind - I loved these people! Last time I went to Japan, I couldn't get out of America fast enough. I was beyond excited and was throwing myself full steam ahead. I had just graduated high school, and I think I had that feeling of, "I need to find myself," along with the fact that I loved everything I knew about Japan. Two weeks after my 18th birthday, I moved to Japan. (Nothing like graduating into adulthood by moving to the other side of the world.) This time, I was sort of oblivious to the fact that I was going to Japan. I mean, I knew I was going, it just didn't hit me that I was going. I figured that until it did hit me, I would just assume that my feelings and emotions would be the exact same as last time. So, while I waited, I acted super excited (which I was in a way,) and kept telling people I couldn't wait to go. One week before my plane was set to leave - it hit me. But this time, instead of throwing myself as hard as I could against the reigns to go, I dug my heels into the dirt with such intense vigor. I was having an internal war with myself. "How can I leave?! I can't leave! I'm just getting so close to everyone here! I love these people! How can I leave this?! And for a year? Impossible. But no, I miss my students in Japan so much. No! I want to stay!" It was mayhem. But then I had a talk with one of my dearest friends, who knew exactly how I was feeling. After talking to them, I felt so encouraged and comforted. I was excited to go back. Sure, it wasn't with the same intensity as last time, but I was excited. The day I left, I was at the airport surrounded by my family and a few friends who braved the early morning hours to see me off. I felt loved. As I was sitting there with them, I felt at peace. Peace with the relationships I had, peace about leaving, peace about what God had in store for me. Then I entered dreamland. I was on a plane to Japan. But was I really? There was a close call at LAX (my connecting flight) where I was told I wouldn't be allowed to go to Japan because I didn't have a return-home ticket. After countless prayers and what seemed like ages, things worked out just fine and I was allowed to go to my gate. I was ecstatic. It hit me then that there was absolutely nothing that could get in the way of me and Japan if that was where God wanted me to be! I was so confident as I boarded my flight. I knew I would have to go through immigration when I got there and that I had had issues with that last time, but I didn't care. I knew that if God wanted me there, I was getting in! As the plane drew close to Tokyo, I peeked out the window to see if I could catch a glimpse of the city. We weren't close enough to see it yet, but I did get an eyeful of the gorgeous star-strewn night sky! It was absolutely beautiful. The moon was shining brightly on the ocean and made such a beautiful image. I stared at it for about 10 minutes... and then the city came in view. I can't remember the last time I smiled so big. There it was - the place that caused so many tear-filled nights and my broken heart. It was there. It was waiting for me! The lights of the city were shining so brilliantly. I could feel God's love for me in the lights of a city. I almost burst into tears as the plane hit the airfield. I was back. I was home. (I almost screamed this in Japanese, but thought better of it as I looked around at my fellow sleepy passengers.) I got off the plane and bolted to the bathroom. There it was - a Japanese toilet! Yes, this may sound odd, but that was the first thing I saw that really made me aware that I was in Japan! The insane amount of buttons on the side, the strange stream noise that goes off as soon as you sit down so as to drown out any "embarrassing sounds." Yeah, it's weird - but it's Japan!
After that, I walked to immigration. There were so many people there, so it took a really long time. There was a lady going through the crowd checking everyone's passports and forms to make sure everything was filled out correctly. She came to me and I was able to use a little bit of Japanese, which was awesome. When it was my turn, I walked up and confidently gave the person there my passport. 2 minutes later, I was walking through customs with all my luggage (PRAISE GOD, MY LUGGAGE WAS THERE!!) and a huge smile on my face! But... no one was there waiting for me. Uh-oh. That was unexpected. I meandered about for a couple of minutes, but found no one there. I pulled aside for a second and tried to figure out what my next step should be. I was just convincing myself to exchange the few dollars I had into yen to I could make a phone call when I spotted my ride. Apparently, my flight was a little early. My host mom and my roommate from last time (she's studying at a university in Tokyo this semester and came to visit) came to pick me up.
As we started driving, I realized how normal I felt. Yes, I was excited to be back in Japan and to see the two of them, but at the same time things felt completely normal. Last time I couldn't keep my eyes off of the street signs and buildings and cars and everything. This time, it felt like it was a normal day in my normal life and I was driving to my normal home. It was good to be back. We got to the house and I sat down with the rest of my host family and we all caught each other up on the goings-on in our lives. After that, I unpacked all of my bags (into the same room I had before, so I knew exactly where to put everything) and then plopped down on my Japanese futon. I had missed that so much. Just like last time, I had no jetlag. What a blessing! I woke up the next morning and was ready to conquer the day! Carol (my host mom) and I drove to the school where I will be working again. I spent most of the day going over the curriculum I will be using for English class. I got to see the other teachers and a couple of the students as well! It was so good to see everyone again. That evening, Jenna (my roommate) and I went to the city to get one of the greatest Japanese foods of all time - ramen. We took the bus there, and I had my first stupid foreigner moment. I was getting off the bus and paying, but apparently I was putting my
money in the wrong slot. Every time I put a coin in, it shot out a ton
of coins, and I was SO confused! Apparently there was a place to pay,
and a place to make change for yourself. Ugh, the poor bus driver - he
was so nice and patient as he told me how it worked. I felt like such an
idiot, though. The embarrassing part was that there was a line of people
behind me waiting to get off, and they were probably thinking, "stupid
foreigner." Oh well, we learn from our mistakes! And I was due for a moment of humbling. We walked to the ramen shop, which is owned by one of my very good friend's dad. He was very welcoming and excited to see us. He kept thanking me, because his daughter had come and stayed with me in America last month. (He ended up not charging us for the ramen. The only thing better than ramen is free ramen!) One of the other members (who is also my neighbor here) of the team I'm working with just happened to be at the ramen shop as well. It was fun being there with people I know and laughing together.
That evening I came home and took my host family's dog, Rusty, for a walk because he was whining a lot. While I was walking him, someone pulled up and parked their car right by me on the road. It was the wife of the man who owns the ramen shop I had just come from! It was such a random encounter, but it was so good to see her!! One thing I love about Japan is that I feel like I'm always running into someone I know. The next day I went to the school again for more lesson planning and saw even more of the students! They never fail to bring a smile to my face. :) I had to go to the post office to get some money out of the ATM, so I decided to walk there from the school. I was asked, "Do you remember how to get there?" I don't think I could forget. I walked around so much last time I was here. I loved walking along the familiar road, stopping to get one of my favorite drinks out of what would be a randomly placed vending machine by America's standards, but here is completely normal. That evening, some of my Japanese friends dropped by to say hello. They brought me delicious Asian pears and Japanese snacks! On Sunday morning, I awoke to the familiar smell of coffee cake for breakfast. I had forgotten - every Sunday morning, this was what was eaten in this house. I am so excited to be a part of this routine again. After breakfast, we went to church in the building right next to our school. I joined in on an adults' Sunday School before the church service. It was in English, which I was thankful for, because the church service is entirely in Japanese. Right now they are talking about Romans in SS. I was pleasantly surprised when I found that out. It's been a desire of mine for maybe two years to be a part of a Sunday School or Bible Study focusing on Romans. It's so cool that God has given me that opportunity, even if it has been two years since that desire of mine began. During the church service, we sang well-known worship music in Japanese. I can't tell you how much I had missed this. I have such an attachment to Japanese worship songs, because that's how I taught myself one of the Japanese alphabets last time I was here. It was so cool being able to sing and actually understand a lot of the words this time, though. I even understood a good amount of the sermon, which was also in Japanese! After church, so many people came up to me and welcomed me back. I got to see more of my students from last time, as well!
God also answered another huge prayer of mine that day! Last time I was in Japan, I feel like I spent a lot of time hanging out with the other interns - going to do lots of fun things together. This wasn't exactly a bad thing, but I knew a little bit then and think back strongly on it now about how much I wished I could have spent more time with my students and the Japanese people. Last time I would work hard at the school during the day, but at the end of the day and on the weekends, the interns and I would go out to eat or go to Tokyo or whatever. I realize how much of my free time was spent doing fun touristy stuff, instead of getting to know the people here more. This time around, I've been praying that God would provide opportunities for me to spend time with more people. Well, after the service on Sunday, I had multiple people come up to me, people I didn't really see much last time, and they said how much they wanted to hang out with me! I was blown away and so excited! God is answering my prayers in such unbelievable ways!! I went home on Sunday afternoon, and got the urge to go on a photographic extravaganza. The rice paddies right by my house were in bloom and looked absolutely beautiful! So, I packed up my camera and my iPod and went on a walk. As soon as I stepped outside, I was amazed at how cool it was. The weather has been in the 90's since I got here with so much humidity, but a breeze had rolled in and made it feel wonderful out! I decided to walk to the park about 5 minutes away by foot. I found a little grassy spot in the middle of this pond area that was secluded and beautiful, and just sat there for about half an hour, enjoying the day. (I couldn't help but think of Winnie the Pooh and his "thinking spot" as I sat there.) That evening, I asked Jenna if she wanted to come with me to the Starbucks just down the road. It's a favorite spot of ours, so we walked there together. It was fun ordering my usual drink in Japanese again. Last time I didn't speak much Japanese, but man, did I know how to order my Starbucks! I spent most of the day today setting up and organizing one of (yes, this implies more than one) my classrooms at the school. Today I focused on the middle school room, where I'll be teaching pre-algebra, language arts, Bible, and tutoring someone in English. It was fun organizing desks and shelves how I wanted them organized. :D The rest of this week, I will be lesson planning in preparation of school starting next week. There is lots to do, so please be praying! Also, I seem to have come down with a nasty cough. I absolutely detest coughs more than any other illness, so obviously it makes sense for that to be the first sickness I catch in Japan. Please, please be praying for my health! I would hate to not have a voice the first week of school, and it's just not fun being sick!
I am about to keel over from exhaustion, so I'd better go. I apologize for the length of this blog. I really didn't expect it to be this long! If you read it all the way through, you are a champ!!
Thank you for your prayers and messages and comments and all of the wonderful things people have been messaging me. I am one blessed girl. :)
